The Truth about the Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda

What if he liked me back then, what would have happened?
What if I didn’t take this course?
What if l left this company and stared over on my own?
What if? What could happen?

I have this thing for What If’s. I want to know what could have been, should have been and would have been. I like thinking and torturing myself about the couldashouldawouldas. There are many things that, in my life, I would like to know what would happen if things didn’t happen the way they did. I like daydreaming about them – making me feel nostalgic and regretful at times. But it’s a guilty pleasure, my brand of masochistic poison that I use to torture myself.

But, I realize that the coulda-shoulda-woulda’s are only that. Things that didn’t happen. Choices not made. Life isn’t like one of those Choose Your own Adventure Books back in the day wherein if you didn’t like what happens to your character/story, you could go back to page 19 and make the other choice and perhaps make your better choice. Life simply didn’t work like that. If it did, then the world will be a less regretful place to live in- but there will be many things that would be wrong because we wouild all be living a “Perfect” life.

I don’t want that. It’s the uncertainty of life that makes it very interesting and exciting. Maybe there are some things that we didn’t want to happen, were meant to happen. Experiences like regret and sorrow, depression and fear, loss and mistakes gives us character. They mold us into the person they are meant to be. It makes us who we are – stronger, wiser and more beautiful persons. There is no such thing as a perfect person – the Stepford people are boring. The most interesting people are those with history – those with stories to tell. After all, the most successful people are those who failed the hardest.

But failure is one thing that scares the crap out of a lot of people, believe it or not, there are so many people who fear failure that they are in denial about their own State of the Self. I think I am more realistic, that though I have these unreachable ideals, I know that there could be only so much that I could do and am satisfied with small victories – and all these small victories gathered together makes ONE BIG VICTORY. And I think that wins.

So rather than think about the coulda shoulda wouldas, wont we be more productive if we did think about what we could do to make things happen? Or better yet, let’s make things happen instead. What do you think?